why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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