nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
