She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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