I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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