A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
