You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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