actually, I'm a sock model
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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