Kareoke will never be a sober sport
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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