If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He did a backflip because drugs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
