just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
