How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
