Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
