i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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