perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You took a bar mat shot.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
