idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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