end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
