So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
