either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize