weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize