He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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