Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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