If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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