Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
