im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
