the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
