would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
