she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
