The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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