I wanna passion pit in your ass
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
