Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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