I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize