she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I puked a lego.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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