If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
