I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
