Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
