It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
