there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
