and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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