I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
