I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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