so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
