Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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(936): View more from Texas

She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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(207): View more from Maine

She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date

Fav 4 440 217
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.

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