You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
