Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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