Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
