the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
