There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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