she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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