So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
