there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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