God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
