maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
