if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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