O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
