At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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