SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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