when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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