ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
