Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
