Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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